Don't Be that Guy!

My husband is in the middle of a sermon series entitled, “Don’t Be that Guy!” He is looking at some of the lessons we learn in the lives of the “bad guys” found in the book of Luke. This past Sunday he walked us through the story of the Prodigal Son and examined the older brother (Luke 15:11-32). Mike called him the “I deserve better” guy.

While the older brother had always done the right thing—he stayed home, worked for his father, and didn’t waste his inheritance on wild living—his self-centeredness caused him to miss out on a great celebration, and so much more.

Listen to how the Message translates verses 25-32—

"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.'

"The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!'

"His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

I love the father’s words, “You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours.” How had this son done all of the right things, but miss the joy of relationship with his father and the blessings of being his child?

Could it be because he thought he deserved better? Notice his words to his father. Basically he said, “I’ve never done anything wrong, yet you’ve never done anything for me!” Really? Could this son be that perfect? And has the father really neglected this son? It sounds like he had provided very well for him.

I wondered how many times I have been like the older son. I’m not talking about being upset when others get a party. But how many times have I missed the joy and blessings of being a child of God, simply because I was so focused on myself and what I thought I was lacking.

I don’t want to miss a moment of the celebration! I’m determined to really enjoy the relationship God offers me. And I don’t want to take ANY blessing for granted—I want to recognize His goodness and be truly thankful!

If you want to hear Mike’s message, go to www.maranathawichita.com.

Loving God More Than Your Husband

Recently I answered an e-mail from a precious young friend, and I thought there could be someone else struggling with the same issue. My friend wrote:

“How do you love God more than your husband? Or desire God more than your husband? Before I met my husband, I committed to give my heart completely to Jesus and to just dwell in His love. But since we’ve been married, I have struggled to do that. Even my husband has noticed that my love for Jesus seems to have faded. I feel that I am just lukewarm, just living life, and I hate it. I have asked God to rekindle that flame that once burned in my heart. And I am beginning to make myself push beyond my own selfish comfort zone. I don’t just want to desire God; I want to move on to seeking Him out. Will you please pray that my heart will desire and love God above my husband? And that I’ll know how to love my husband too, and not choose sides?”

My reply:

I will pray for you! You are definitely taking the right steps—asking for a renewed hunger and humbling yourself before God. Here are just some thoughts about loving God more than your husband:
1. First of all, God knows that you are human—and that your husband is human and right there before you in flesh and blood. Naturally, we can be more captivated by what we can see and touch than what we have in faith. God completely understands this weakness!
2. As a wife you are to love your husband and give yourself unreservedly to him, and by doing that you are loving God!
3. But it is so important to keep these truths in focus—God is your Creator, your Redeemer, your Savior, your Guide, your Sustainer, your Strength, etc. And your husband is not.
4. However, you must know and live out this truth as well—your husband is your MOST important human relationship! He is your closest friend, life companion, lover, encourager, etc.
5. As you earnestly seek God and allow His Spirit to fill your life, your love for your husband will grow stronger every day, and your ability to have a wonderful, intimate relationship with him will as well.
6. Try not the think of it in a comparative way. Love God and seek Him with all your heart, and love and care for your husband like he is an extension of your own body.

I hope this helps! Love you!

Maintaining a Balanced Life

“The man who fears God will avoid all extremes” (Ecclesiastes 7:18, NIV).

It is quite interesting that the book of Ecclesiastes follows the book of Proverbs. Both are written by the wisest person who has ever lived—Solomon. Yet at a first reading, these books may seem like a contradiction. In Proverbs 4:7, Solomon says, “Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” The entire book is teaching us how to attain wisdom and live a disciplined life.

Yet in the first verse of Ecclesiastes, Solomon says, “Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!” He goes on to say, “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

Ecclesiastes was written at the end of Solomon’s life. He had lived a life of great extremes—if one wife is good, then hundreds are even better; if one palace is nice, then many are better; if knowledge of plant life is helpful, then knowledge of everything is best. Yet as Solomon aged, he saw the futility of the extremes and realized that life is meaningless apart from God (12:13).

Solomon tells us that there is a season for everything (3:1-8), and he encourages us with these words: “[God] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is a gift of God.”

In chapter four, Solomon says, “The fool folds his hands and ruins himself. Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.” I believe he is describing the extremes of one who is lazy and one who is a workaholic. The lazy person may see the futility of grasping for wealth, yet he accomplishes little and disappoints those who depend on him. While the workaholic is driven by greed, he lives a life with full hands and an empty heart.

I believe Solomon would want us to understand that we should live disciplined lives that are balanced—working and resting, weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing, embracing and refraining. Some women may tend to work, weep, mourn, and embrace projects, and truly neglect opportunities to be refreshed. And at the other extreme, there are women who neglect work in order to only rest, laugh, dance, and refrain.

Here are some practical ways to make sure we are living a balanced life:

· Work when it is time to work.
· Sleep when it is time to sleep—try to get at least seven hours of sleep each night.
· Play more games—especially with those you love.
· Pray every day—and make sure there is a time of silence for listening to God.
· Take time to express thanksgiving and praise.
· Take time to celebrate the good things—every good thing is from God.
· Read more books—watch less TV.
· Call your family often.
· Eat healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and take a walk every day.
· Don’t waste time on complaining; smile more.
· Don’t over commit; know your limits.

So how about you? Are there extremes in your life? How can you grow more balanced? Consider reading Ecclesiastes and writing down the ways you can avoid extremes.

Challenged and Encouraged

As we prepare to celebrate Jesus’ birth, I am reminded of a woman who, through challenging circumstances, became part of our Savior’s family tree.

Ruth’s story is a beautiful example of many truths regarding our responses to life and God’s provision and sovereignty. As I read the book of Ruth this morning, I felt challenged to take a close look at myself.

Self-Sacrificing Love
RUTH—In spite of very difficult circumstances, Ruth chose to love the way Christ described love—in a self-sacrificing way. After the deaths of her father-in-law and husband, Ruth loved Naomi in spite of her own pain. Her love is seen in the words to her desolate mother-in-law, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me” (1:16-18). Ruth was willing to give up her home and future to care for Naomi.

ME—I have to ask myself, am I willing to love those God has placed in my life with the measure of self-sacrifice Ruth demonstrated? My husband? Children? Parents? In-laws? Aunts, uncles, cousins? Close friends? Do I daily lay aside my desires to demonstrate genuine love and care for them?

Diligent Service
RUTH—In Ruth’s time, two widows living alone were at the mercy of the kindness of others. In that time of great need, she chose to serve diligently. She said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain” (2:2). Ruth was willing to follow the servant girls and pick up what the harvesters left behind. This may have been a menial, even degrading task. But prompted by love, Ruth was faithful and hardworking. Her character was noticed by all who knew her. Boaz said to her, “All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character” (3:11).

ME—What is my attitude when I’m faced with menial tasks? Do I grumble, thinking they are below my potential? Or do I serve willingly, realizing it is a test of my true character, as it was for Ruth?

Unquestioning Trust
RUTH—She knew that her mother-in-law and the God she served could be trusted. Naomi asked Ruth to go lay at the feet of Boaz. Ruth was not an Israelite, and this custom may have seemed quite strange to her, but she trusted that Naomi was looking out for her best interest. Ruth simply responded, “I will do whatever you say” (3:5).

ME—Do I willing take the advice of those who are wiser and more experienced than me? Do I take God at His Word—trusting that He will always lead me to what is best?

Discovering God’s Plan
As Ruth loved, served, and trusted, God was divinely orchestrating her steps! Verse 2:3 tells us, “As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz.” Boaz was a generous, kind, worshipper of God who cared for all who worked for him. He married Ruth and together they became the great-grandparents of King David. When we see Ruth’s name mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus in first chapter of Matthew, we clearly see that God works His divine plan beautifully through those who love, serve, and trust.

Today I’m challenged by this woman who lived so many years ago! I want to love sacrificially, serve diligently, and trust unquestioningly. As in the life of Ruth, I believe God is ordering my steps and working His plan in and through my life—what an encouraging thought!

Not a Picnic on the Beach

Many days, life feels more like a storm on a sea than a picnic on a beach. This morning I read Matthew 14—it is the story of when Jesus’ disciples found themselves out on the Sea of Galilee in a great storm. (Even if you know the story, indulge me and read it again.)

During the fourth watch of the night, Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:25-31, NIV)

When we are in the midst of any storm, the most important thing we can do is look for Jesus and walk toward Him. He is there in every situation, just waiting for us to turn to Him. And He wants us to trust His instruction. In the midst of that storm, Peter had enough faith to get out of the boat and walk toward Jesus. But when he took his eyes off of Him, Peter immediately began to sink.

Think about some of the storms we face, what Jesus says to us in the midst of them, and then what happens when we take our eyes off of Him:

The storm: Someone offends us.
Jesus says: Forgive as I have forgiven you. Turn the other cheek. Trust My love for you. Your security is in Me.
If we take our eyes off of Him: Waves of hurt overwhelm us.

The storm: Finances are really tight.
Jesus says: Seek first the Kingdom of God and I will take care of you. You matter so much to Me. I will meet all of your needs.
If we take our eyes off of Him: Waves of fear and discouragement overwhelm us.

The storm: Circumstances seem out of control.
Jesus says: Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. And My peace will surround you.
If we take our eyes off of Him: Waves of anxiety overwhelm us.

The storm: We are sick.
Jesus says: I am Your Healer. I will never leave you or forsake you. Trust Me. Even when you walk through the shadow of death, I am with you.
If we take our eyes off of Him: Waves of dread and concern overwhelm us.

The storm: Our responsibilities feel bigger than our human capacity.
Jesus says: Come to me. Keep company with me. Learn from me. With me you will find rest for your souls and the productivity your life is demanding.
If we take our eyes off of Him: We don’t even want to get back in the boat, we just want to swim for the shore.

So maybe you can identify with these “waves that overwhelm.” You are like Peter: you are walking in faith, but you’ve taken your eyes off of Jesus for a moment and you feel yourself sinking. Be like Peter and cry out, “Lord, save me!” And then trust that Jesus is reaching out His mighty hand and holding you. Take some time for your soul to rest in His arms. You can trust those arms that hold you!

So Thankful!

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

It was an extra special celebration because my dad suffered a cardiac arrest on August 28th this year. He was without a heartbeat for more than 20 minutes. Once they shocked his heart and got a regular heartbeat, he was life-flighted to a hospital in Kansas City.

The three-hour drive from Wichita to Kansas City was the longest drive of my life. We all felt we were going to a death watch. My dad was in a coma for several days and in intensive care for nine days—around 225 hours. His condition changed almost hourly, creating quite a roller coaster ride for our emotions. I remember sitting in the quiet, dark waiting room that first night when the thought hit me, “Awwww, it doesn’t look like Daddy is going to make it to their 50th anniversary.” It was heart rendering.

Well, here we are... three months later, and dad is growing stronger every day. We have truly witnessed a miracle! We were able to have a wonderful celebration. Our son Tyler wrote a song for his grandpa while he was in the hospital and sang it for him at the celebration—there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

I have lost all of my grandparents and several uncles and aunts. But this is the first time for me to walk through a near-death experience with someone in my immediate family. My dad is more precious to me today than I ever thought possible. Actually, every moment I spend with those I love feels more valuable.


Don’t take anyone in your life for granted! Soak up every moment with them and don’t waste even the smallest opportunity to show your love.

Real, Not Ideal

A couple of weeks ago, I was reviewing the possible outcomes of a current situation in my life. I could only think of three options. And to be completely honest, none of them seemed appealing. As I thought through each possibility, I had the exact same thought, “Well, that option is definitely not ideal.” My thoughts were quite discouraging. I have to admit, I went to bed that night grumbling at the Lord.

The next morning I was reading The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Holladay, a devotional book divided into 40 readings. That day’s section was entitled “Get Rid of the Ideal, Go for the Real.” Holladay said we can make an idol out of the ideal. What a sobering truth! Immediately I realized that was exactly what I was doing—longing for the “ideal” and thinking it would bring contentment and fulfillment.

Holladay challenged his readers, “The circumstances of your life are not perfect. You are not perfect. The people you love are not perfect. But God is perfect. So instead of trying to perfect the imperfectable, choose to focus on praising the one who is perfect. And then, bolstered by that praise, choose real love.”

Needless to say, I had to repent for the grumblings of my heart. I have spent way too much time trying to perfect the imperfectable. When my thoughts simply focus on the ideal, I fail to enjoy the good in the real circumstances of my life. It was such a good reminder that our circumstances and relationships on earth will never be perfectly ideal! So with gratitude in my heart, I am challenged to embrace the real instead of demanding the ideal.