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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Double-Date Ideas

Having fun together is an important component of a healthy marriage. But sometimes Mike and I face seasons of life when it’s really hard to connect with other couples in a deeply satisfying way. Especially during times of transition, when our responsibilities increase, or when our family’s needs are more demanding...

My friend likens this to “backwashing.” She says that a couple needs a regular inflow of new perspective and interaction from people outside the two of them. Otherwise, their own relationship can get stale and unfulfilling. (While this may be a funny way to look at it, I think it’s true!)

The symptoms of “backwashing” include: taking each other for granted, bickering over little things, being stuck in a rut of the same activities, reluctance to be spontaneous, critical thoughts and attitudes...you get the picture.

In those times, I’ve discovered the importance of planning ahead for time with other couples. Here are a few of my favorite double-date ideas:
  • Get dessert and take a walk in a park.
  • Play miniature golf.
  • Have a bonfire.
  • Share dessert after the evening church service.
  • Go to a concert or symphony.
  • Visit a local attraction or museum.
  • Around the holidays, gather for a potluck where each couple brings a dish to represent their unique heritage.
  • Attend a local fair or carnival together.
  • Make homemade pizzas together.
  • Attend a theatrical performance.
  • Go out for breakfast on a Saturday morning.
  • Choose a book to read, and regularly meet to discuss what you’re learning.
  • Engage in a common hobby—biking, hiking,
  • Visit scenic areas and take photos.
  • Host a theme-related dinner where each couple brings a dish (Mexican, luau, Asian, etc.).
  • Plan a game night.
  • Enjoy an afternoon picnic.
The possibilities are endless!! And I’m always amazed at the meaningful conversations that develop as we do an activity we enjoy. I always feel that our marriage is refreshed after spending quality time with dear friends. The benefits are well worth the time and effort put into planning!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the great ideas!! Bryan and I love having "dinner and a movie nights" once a month with our friends Patty & John. It's such a great way to connect while cooking together, or reflecting on the movie (we like watching classic films--some even in black and white--because of the interesting conversations they spark.) I definitely agree that double-dates are healthy for marriages!