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Friday, January 8, 2010

Loving God More Than Your Husband

Recently I answered an e-mail from a precious young friend, and I thought there could be someone else struggling with the same issue. My friend wrote:

“How do you love God more than your husband? Or desire God more than your husband? Before I met my husband, I committed to give my heart completely to Jesus and to just dwell in His love. But since we’ve been married, I have struggled to do that. Even my husband has noticed that my love for Jesus seems to have faded. I feel that I am just lukewarm, just living life, and I hate it. I have asked God to rekindle that flame that once burned in my heart. And I am beginning to make myself push beyond my own selfish comfort zone. I don’t just want to desire God; I want to move on to seeking Him out. Will you please pray that my heart will desire and love God above my husband? And that I’ll know how to love my husband too, and not choose sides?”

My reply:

I will pray for you! You are definitely taking the right steps—asking for a renewed hunger and humbling yourself before God. Here are just some thoughts about loving God more than your husband:
1. First of all, God knows that you are human—and that your husband is human and right there before you in flesh and blood. Naturally, we can be more captivated by what we can see and touch than what we have in faith. God completely understands this weakness!
2. As a wife you are to love your husband and give yourself unreservedly to him, and by doing that you are loving God!
3. But it is so important to keep these truths in focus—God is your Creator, your Redeemer, your Savior, your Guide, your Sustainer, your Strength, etc. And your husband is not.
4. However, you must know and live out this truth as well—your husband is your MOST important human relationship! He is your closest friend, life companion, lover, encourager, etc.
5. As you earnestly seek God and allow His Spirit to fill your life, your love for your husband will grow stronger every day, and your ability to have a wonderful, intimate relationship with him will as well.
6. Try not the think of it in a comparative way. Love God and seek Him with all your heart, and love and care for your husband like he is an extension of your own body.

I hope this helps! Love you!


  1. I don't know if it has helped her or not, but it sure has helped me! The part where you said "Try not to think of it in a comparative way" really spoke to my heart. I think I get it now.
    Thank you so much for you help.
    God bless you,
    ~Cynde (Cynde's Got The Write Stuff)

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. What a beautiful answer to a tough question!! This really touched my heart!!

  4. I have had this same question my entire married life. The struggle to reconcile my mind around the question has bothered me for years! I am so glad that you have posted these practical steps and advice. What an answer to prayer!

  5. I'm just a teenager who has been having many thoughts about this subject and I'm so glad that I found this. I'm not married and I don't plan to be for a long while, but this is something that has disturbed me when talking about it with my girlfriend. Both of us love God with everything we have, but I guess I just thought I would never have 100% of her love because it was reserved for God. (I realize this entitiled "Loving God More Than Your Husband", but I figured it was applicable in the inverse manner as well).

    This post has greatly reassured me and put the relationship into perspective. Thank you so much for posting this. God bless you!

  6. I believe that our God is our first Love so we must love him morethan anyonelse because he deserves to be loved because he is faithful to his promises so we must give back all the praises and honor to our God :)

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