Make Your Mark

Here is the video that I created for the organization where I work. I wanted to share it with you!

Geniune Love

In the midst of pastoral counseling, my husband often defines love as self-sacrifice. Genuine love wants the best for others and is willing to make sacrifices for them to experience that goodness. When we look at the life of Christ, we see this picture of love in every encounter—truly putting the needs of others ahead of His own.

We may naturally think that self-sacrificing love is too costly. However, just the opposite is true. Selfish living always leaves us frustrated and unfulfilled, because self-centered thoughts tend to focus what is lacking in our life. Or we can find ourselves wanting others to live up to our expectations, causing even more dissatisfaction.

We actually rob ourselves of joy by choosing to live selfishly. Jesus tells us our joy is directly related to our choice to remain in His love and love others—

“’As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you’” (John 15:9-12, NIV).

Earlier in the book of John, we read that Jesus came to give us a “rich and satisfying life,” (John 10:10, NLT). But we are also called to serve one another in love. The two are directly related.

I pray we will remain in His love and allow self-sacrificing love to pour through our lives. I believe a rich, satisfying, joyful life will be the result!

Praying for Your Husband

Philippians 4:5-7 says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

Below is the prayer guide found in Secrets appendix. As you pray, allow the peace that God provides to guard your heart and mind.

For Your Husband

Relationship with God
Psalm 19:1-4 Pray your husband will see god at work in all creation.
Psalm 42 Pray your husband will be “thirsty for God.”
Psalm 103:1-18 Pray for your husband to experience God’s great love.
Psalm 139:1-18 Remember that this truth applies to your husband as you pray for him.
Isaiah 55 Pray your husband will seek God with his whole heart and find the satisfaction that only God can give.
Colossians 1:15-20 Pray your husband will come to know Christ as He is described in these verses.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 Pray your husband will live in awareness of Christ’s return.

Righteous Living
Psalm 1 Pray your husband will be a righteous and “blessed man.”
Psalm 32 Pray your husband will be quick to repent.
Proverbs 4:23-27 Pray your husband will be a man of integrity.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 Pray your husband will avoid sexual immorality.
Hebrews 4:12 Pray that your husband’s heart will be touched in a life-changing way anytime he hears the Word of God.

Ability as a Husband
Ephesians 5:25-33 Pray your husband’s love for you will grow to be like Christ’s.
Philippians 2:1-8 Pray your husband will serve others with a humble heart.

Wisdom for Decisions
Psalm 62 Pray your husband will place his hope and trust in God.
Psalm 86:1-7 and Psalm 107 Pray that when your husband is in trouble, he will call out to God.
Proverbs 2 Pray your husband will grow in wisdom, insight, and understanding.

If Your Husband Is Not Yet a Christian
Hebrews 11:1 Remember that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Have faith in God and believe for your husband’s salvation.
2 Peter 3:8,9 Remember God’s patience and His desire for your husband to come to know Him.

Transition

My husband and I are in the midst of a transition. Two weeks ago, we accepted new positions that require us to resign from our pastorate and to relocate.

We have experienced many different emotions in the past 14 days. Our kids and six-week old granddaughter live in the city we are leaving behind. We are also leaving many close relationships that developed during our 10 years in Wichita.

We know God is leading us and we are excited for our new roles. We are also saddened at the loss that accompanies this transition. This is our first move that doesn’t include our children. While they are adults, I can’t begin to put words to the emotions I am encountering at the thought of leaving them. I’m thankful we are only moving four-and-a- half hours away—we already have trips planned to see our sweet grandbaby.

In the midst of all of this transition, I’m reminded of the importance of prioritizing our marriage. It is the one relationship designed to endure every season of our adult lives. Children grow up, friends move away, and extended families rarely have the privilege of living close to one another. In the midst of so much change, God gives us marriage—a human relationship that is intended to last a lifetime.

I’m so thankful to be starting this new season with my best friend—my awesome husband! And quite honestly, I’m looking forward to this new adventure together!

I want to encourage you today to prioritize your relationship with your spouse, above any other relationship—it is meant to last a lifetime!

Mother and Daughter Lead Together

One of my friends shared her testimony with me about forming a Secrets small group. I hope her experience encourages those that are considering leading a Bible study. Here’s what Guyla said:

“Maybe it was the butterfly and the stunning pink and black graphics; maybe it was the title, Secrets: Transforming Your Life and Marriage; maybe it was the Lord. Whatever the reason, I was intrigued the first time I saw an e-mail promoting the release of this new Bible study for women. Almost immediately, I knew I needed to lead a group. I hoped my daughter, Melissa, would join me.

When I showed her the information, Melissa agreed it would be fun to lead the class together. We both felt that, as a mother/daughter team, we could bring our different perspectives to play in the group. Within a few weeks, we received approval to start the study in our church, set a date to begin, promoted the group, and developed a list of interested women. We were amazed at how quickly it all came together.

Our group wasn't large, but it was diverse. We had several young moms—one who had just left a difficult relationship. We had an engaged college student, a divorcee from an abusive home situation, and a woman experiencing challenges in a forty-year marriage. At the end of the series, the women expressed their appreciation for the class and felt it had opened their eyes to see their lives and their relationships from God’s perspective. Several expressed interest in taking the class again.

As leaders, we were continually impressed with the quality of this study. From the pre-planning information to the lessons and support materials, everything flowed together very well. The videos helped to set the pace for the easy-to-follow session plans. Gary Smalley's comments added to Kerry Clarensau's already astute teaching. The testimonies added a personal element. Discussions were a natural consequence of the many powerful “ah-ha” moments we all experienced.

Will we lead a second class of Secrets? Absolutely! We can hardly wait to see what God will teach all of us this time as we open His Word with Kerry. Without a doubt, Secrets can make a difference for women who are seeking the Lord’s answers for their lives and their marriages. The beautiful thing about God’s secrets is that they always improve our lives – and He can’t wait to share them with all of us!”

Unconditional Respect?

We expect our husband to love us even on our worst day. After all, they are instructed to love us as they love themselves (Ephesians 5:33). We are firm believers in unconditional love. :) But the idea of unconditional respect might be difficult for us to understand and can even be more difficult to express. However, the same verse that encourages them to love us also says, “and the wife must respect her husband.”

I’ve come to understand that a man’s greatest need is for respect. In fact, our husbands have great difficulty feeling loved without respect. Gary Smalley explains it this way, “He hungers for sincere admiration and respect; and he will gravitate toward those who admire him.” They connect respect to love so closely that they will actually feel despised when we are disrespectful to them.

God knows our husband hungers for respect, so He instructs us to meet that need. Personally, I want to show my husband more respect than anyone else shows him. Even when we disagree, I want to meet his greatest need through kindness, submission, approval, and trust. And the benefits are amazing—as I respect him, it helps him to be drawn to me…

Inquire?

I’ve always been intrigued by the way Scripture describes King David—a man after God’s own heart. Many times as I read the Psalms or passages about David, I try to understand more about what it means to be a person after God’s heart.

The first nine chapters of 1 Chronicles contain Israel’s history from creation to the Babylonian exile. Chapter ten shares the death of King Saul and leads us to the reign of David. The writer of Chronicles doesn’t spend much time telling us about the life of Saul, he simply tells us why he died:

“Saul died because he was unfaithful to the Lord; he did not keep the word of the Lord and even consulted a medium for guidance, and did not inquire of the Lord. So the Lord put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David son of Jesse” (1 Chronicles 10:13-14, NIV).

This verse clearly describes things Saul did wrong—he was unfaithful to the Lord and he did not keep the word of the Lord. Yet we also see something Saul failed to do—inquire of the Lord. If we were asked to describe what it means to be a person after God’s heart, we might say to be faithful to God and to keep His word. But would we immediately think—someone who inquires of the Lord?

This is an interesting word: inquire. Webster defines it this way: 1. to seek information; ask a question or questions 2. to carry out an examination or investigation—to seek information about.

As we read chapters 14-15 in 1 Chronicles, we see David consistently inquiring of the Lord, and learning costly lessons when he didn’t.

David’s life reveals many insights into being a person after God’s heart—a willingness to wait on God’s timing, a hunger for God’s word, a humble attitude, a desire to praise, a willingness to be broken and repentant, and so much more.

But today I’m challenged to inquire of the Lord.