Hope After an Affair: Sarah's Story

When priorities get out of line and boundaries become blurred, it can be devastating to a marriage. Sadly, affairs are becoming more common on television, in politics, and even in the church. But in the midst of this, there is hope! My good friend sent me a link to a blog by a young lady named Sarah. She poignantly recounts the slippery slope that led to her affair, and how God redeemed her and her marriage. I applaud this woman for her courage and honesty. I pray as you read this true story, you will be encouraged to keep your marriage as a top priority (second to God, of course). Nothing on earth is more worth our sincerest efforts!

Click here to read Sarah' story.

Southern Missouri Women's Retreat

I spent the past two weekends at the beautiful Lake of the Ozarks in central Missouri. It is a very sentimental place for me for several reasons… I attended church camp there as a child and teenager. And I had some very significant encounters with God on those campgrounds.

In addition to going to camp there, my wonderful in-laws live there. They have had a home on the Southern Missouri Campgrounds for the past 28 years. Each year our family spends at least one week at the lake—so, every inch of scenery is filled with many precious memories. For me, it is one of the most restful places on the planet .

Sherry Welch, the Southern Missouri District Women’s Director, asked me to speak at their fall retreats. It was a JOY to participate in those two events. I got to see many old friends and even some of my family was able to attend. My assistant, Lindsey, was able to join me for the second weekend—that was a special treat!















The weather was perfect and the water was as smooth as glass. But even better than that, God was so faithful to meet with us in that familiar place. God always speaks when we take time from our busy schedules and turn our attention to Him! I pray that the Truth from His Word continues to saturate the hearts and minds of all who attended.

PS--If you're a young woman living in southern Missouri, there's a new Facebook group for you! Just search for "Southern Missouri District Young Women's Ministry".

Miracles…

My family has just experienced an incredible miracle!

On August 28, my dad had a cardiac arrest. He was setting up his guitar to play for a church in Archie, Missouri when he collapsed. CPR was started right away, and EMTs arrived on the scene very quickly, but dad still didn’t have a heart beat when they put him in the ambulance. Doctors at a nearby hospital were able to get dad’s heart beating again. They put him on a ventilator and life-flighted him to St. Luke’s Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri.

All of the family was called and we were not given much hope—only 5% of people who have a cardiac arrest outside of a hospital survive, and most of them have significant damage to the brain, lungs, and kidneys. Doctors decided to give dad a hypothermia treatment for cardiac arrest victims (lowering the core body temperature to 90 degrees for 24 hours). This treatment helps to prevent swelling of the brain and damage to other organs. Doctors gave medications to keep dad in a coma during this procedure.

After 24 hours, they began the warm up process and removed the coma medications. Miraculously, dad started to wake up and respond to us…we were amazed! Over the next several days, there were struggles to overcome, but dad continued to recover. He was in CICU for 8 days, moved to the next level of care on the 9th day, and released from the hospital on the 12th day!

My dad has no apparent damage to any organ. He is astonished at God’s goodness and knows that God brought him back for a reason. He is looking forward to each day discovering what that might be. In the past few weeks, every one of us has created some precious memories with dad that we will cherish forever. It is hard to believe that he is home and getting stronger every day.

My mom showed us all how to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil. She faced every minute by resting in God and relying on His provision in the moment. When we are squeezed by life’s trial, what is on the inside comes pouring out—and my mom is one of the most beautiful women I know. Her great faith was evident in the peace that poured from her being. When my father collapsed, a woman was singing, “We don’t need to understand. We just need to hold His hand.” Mom believed those were words from her Lord, just for her in that moment. She clung to Him tightly and He sustained her every step.

Not only did we witness a miracle of healing, we saw many other miracles too…
· the supporting love of family
· the life-giving kindness of strangers
· the encouraging compassion of health-care providers
· the uplifting support of friends
· and most of all the amazing, sustaining grace and strength of God.

Are You Happy?

Every day I’m more convinced that enjoyment and fulfillment are a result of right living. If we live to simply seek pleasure, we easily become self-focused, and the “happiness” that we long for completely eludes us. Genuine joy seems just beyond our grasp.

I love how Dr. Gary Smalley explains this on the Secrets DVD (Session 6). He says that Christ calls us to a life of service. When we live our lives loving and serving others, we will experience the abundant life Jesus came to offer. Jesus even said that when we lose our life, we gain it (Luke 9:24).

I believe this is why so few people live happy lives . . . they think that doing pleasurable things will bring happiness. But God’s ways are always so much different than ours. He wants us to love Him with ALL our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others. Because we were created for these loving relationships, we will never be truly fulfilled by anything else. Serving and loving God and others really does bring an abundant life!

Year 1959

1959 was a significant year for our family. You see, on June 7, 1959 Ted Clarensau married Fran DeNoon, and on October 24, 1959 Phil Ramsey married Helen Osborne. Mike and I were the firstborn children of these two young couples.

Last weekend we celebrated Ted and Fran’s 50th wedding anniversary, and we will celebrate with my parents over Thanksgiving. As we were driving home from our recent celebration in Kansas City, I was sweetly overwhelmed as I considered the countless ways these two couples continue to bless our lives and the lives of our adult children.

Our parents committed their lives to Christ when Mike and I were babies. They raised us in homes that consistently prioritized the worship of God, obedience to God, and a strong commitment to marriage and family.

Recently I’ve been reading the story of Israel in the Old Testament. I can’t help but notice the clear demonstration of blessing for those who trust and obey the Lord. He blessed those who gave their whole hearts to Him and obeyed Him consistently. God led them, fought for them, and provided for them. And conversely, when the Israelites were unfaithful to God, their choices led them into horrible situations. First Chronicles 9:1 says, “The people of Judah were taken captive to Babylon because of their unfaithfulness.” Sin always leads to bondage of some kind!

Yet I feel so blessed to have parents and in-laws who consistently love and obey God, love one another, and love us. Our lives have been marked with so much freedom—freedom from the pain of infidelity, addiction, abuse, crime, . . . Their choices provided the type of freedom that only dwells within a safe and secure home. I love all four parents so much for tenaciously pursuing righteousness and love!

Secrets for Unmarried Women

“Will Secrets benefit women who are single or single-again?” Several people asked this question at a recent conference, and my answer was always YES! The principles from Secrets are important for every woman, no matter what her stage of life or marriage.

As I wrote Secrets, I taught it to a large group of women in my church. Several in the class were single or divorced women. Shortly after our final session, a divorced woman told me, “This class has been so healing for me. I thought our divorce was all his fault, and I have been extremely bitter and angry. But now I see that I could have responded differently, and I’ve actually taken responsibility for the woman I am. I know if God brings me a second chance at marriage, I will be a different person for allowing His Word to shape my ideas.”

Another single divorcee and 7 young unmarried women attend my current Secrets small group. All of them are able to apply the ideas to their unique situations—and improve their interactions with men at home, work, school, and church. Several of the young women have expressed gratitude for the opportunity to learn these principles before they are in a relationship.

Quite honestly, I wish I heard these truths before I was married. I’m sure many lessons I would still have learned the “hard way,” but the principles would have been there to guide me. So I absolutely love sharing these secrets with my unmarried friends—it is a great way to invest in their futures!

Since I believe that Secrets is beneficial for women in all stages of life, I have written questions to help single women apply the principles from each session. Please encourage the single women in your life to use these discussion questions to help make Secrets even more applicable.

Click here to download discussion questions for unmarried women (PDF).

Miracle in a 40-Year Marriage

“We are a couple again—not just two separate people living in the same house,” Mary professed. She was part of the Secrets group I recently had the privilege of visiting. The small--but incredibly diverse--group of women was led by my friend Guyla and her daughter Melissa. I heard Mary’s story after the small group meeting, and I was amazed at what God had done in her 40-year marriage.

Today I’m excited to share Mary’s story with you. In a recent article written by Guyla, Mary explained the details:

"My husband and I have been married for 40 years. But for over twelve years of that time, he was gone from home except on weekends and holidays. This left me with raising two children and the bulk of everyday decision-making for our family.

"Gary retired about four years ago, and adjusting to his return has been difficult for us. I decided to attend the Secrets small group just to see if there might be something I could learn to bring our relationship closer. I was definitely having issues concerning who was the ‘head of the household’ after running things myself for so many years.

"When I started reading the book, I thought to myself, ‘These principles will not work with us.’ But after I prayed about the class, God began making me feel very strongly that I should put these practices to work. I am so glad that I trusted in the Lord and His proven message. Almost immediately there was a change in our relationship and marriage. We are closer now than ever before, and I feel that we are a couple again—not just two separate people living in the same house. I am planning to attend the second Secrets group, because I know that there will be more blessings to come from this study."

Wow. This makes me think, even if Mary is the only woman impacted by Secrets, it was completely worth writing!